i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
