I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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