i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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