I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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