Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
