it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
