it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Randomize
