He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
