The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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