Can i not drive my cunt home
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
