I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
