Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
