i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
