Yo dont text me then not text me
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
