i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
