Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
