I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize