Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
