Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
