So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it glows. i had to have it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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