Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
