if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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