maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
