I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
