You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
