I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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