the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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