Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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