I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
