what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
