I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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