Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
