So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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