from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
