Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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