New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
