...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Randomize
