I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
