Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
