I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
