If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
