Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
