So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
