Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
