Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
