if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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