i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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