real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
