the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
