Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
