we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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