I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
