Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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